a lantern that shone

a story about a lantern that shone so brightly it guided me back home even I had to let a part of myself drown

I haven’t uploaded anything in a month or so, and the reason for that was because I felt like I had no spark in my body. I was swimming in the cold and dark water again without any lantern, without any light in sight. I felt so alone and like I was drowning. And part of me did drown, so that the current me could find a way back to the shore and plant my feet on the sand.

Now I am sitting at the beach, letting the waves touch my feet. The wind is breezing my hair and the sun is kissing my face, leaving brown stars to my cheeks and nose. I listen the birds sing their beautiful songs and I look how the waves are going back and forth, calming my mind. I’m staring at the horizon and wondering how just few days ago, I found a lantern that shone so bright that I was able to follow the light and find a way back to the shore. I felt unbelievable love inside my heart. I felt my soul waking up gently again and the light inside my heart shone so brightly I swore if I looked down I could’ve felt the warmth and seen the light.

Sometimes I sit here and feel melancholic towards the part of me I left behind that day, but without having the courage to do that, I probably wouldn’t been able to find my way back. And if I did, I would’ve carried a very heavy burden with me. It would’ve felt every day like I had chains on my hands, on my legs and on my neck weighing me down, stealing my strength. I knew the decision was right, and I released the monsters that were trying to sink me into the depths. Now as I am sitting at the beach, I feel much more peaceful, my heart feels less heavier now. I feel like I am able to breath again. I found a spark again, and that was the lantern that guided me back home, to myself and back to the people and things I care about.

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source of the text In Japanese culture, cherry blossoms symbolizes both life and death beauty and violence. The blooming of cherry blossoms brings a sense of vibrancy and vitality, but at the same time their short blooming is a reminder that life is fleeting. source of the picture

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Thank you endlessly for all the people who have been here to support my work and thank you for just being here. Thank you for every single angel out there, you mean the world to me!! I want you to know that you aren’t alone. There’s so many people who cares for you and who wants to see you shine. May the moon remind us why we must go through different phases to feel whole again and may the flowers remind us why the rain is necessary <3

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I’m wishing you the most beautiful and sweet day! I am sending so many hugs and love for you, you are amazing, angel. I am so proud of you, keep shining :3

with all my love, Julia xx